2011: Book 32

Juicy: Confessions of a Former Baseball Wife by Jessica Canseco


256 pages

Completed 3/27/11

This book was not great; I should've put it down two chapters in, but I just could not stop reading it. Is that not the case of all trashy reads? Canseco tells the tale of how at 19, working at Hooters, she falls for MLB great Jose Canseco. With woes of a terrible sex life, his countless affairs, plastic surgery, steroid abuse, and the code of silence upheld by the baseball wives and girlfriends, this was an interesting, if terrible, read.

I couldn't help but feel for Canseco throughout the first half of the book; with her emotionally absent parents throughout her childhood, Jose didn't seem so bad. But after filing for divorce what seemed like 25 times, and yet still returning to his abusive, belittling, and disrespectful ways, I found myself just annoyed. After she brings a child into this odd union, I lost all respect. This was one of the rare memoirs I read and had no desire to research the author further.

2011: Book 31

Getting Stoned with Savaged Savages by J. Maarten Troost


256 pages


Completed 3/25/11

A follow-up to his tales in The Sex Lives of Cannibals, Troost offers stories of his return to the South Pacific. Not as entertaining as Sex Lives, Troost and his wife, Sylvia, are maintaing residence on a populated, civilized island, where adventures are not experiences, as they were previously.

Where British and French influences are merged with an influx of Indian culture, the islands that make up Vanuatu are odd, wrought with stereotypes, racism, and sex for sale, mixed with the occasional cyclone and cruise ship. Troost seems obsessed with two things throughout this stay; the local intoxicating drink, kava, and the island's history of cannibalism.

With the impending arrival of their first child, the Troosts ascend a volcano; just one of a series of odd choices. Sylvia eventually gives birth to a child who is revered by the community, yet they decide to return to the US, even after griping about the states through the book. I should've stopped with the original book.

2011: Book 30

Slow Motion: A Memoir of a Life Rescued by Tragedy by Dani Shapiro


256 pages

Completed 3/24/11

Living the high life with her married boyfriend, Dani Shapiro is a college dropout in the eighties whose drinking problem is spiraling out of control when she gets a call that will change the course of her life. When she reports to the hospital where both of her parents lie after a horrific car accident, Shapiro has to make a lot of decisions, with almost no support.

With sufficient background information on her family and college-years, Shapiro manages to tell a moment-in-time memoir without leaving the reader guessing about much. The turn of events that leave her referring to time as before-the-accident and after-the-accident changes Shapiro in the nick of time.

2011: Book 29

Blue Angel by Francine Prose


314 pages

Completed 3/23/11

When I saw that this novel was described as "hilarious," and told the story of a professor finally tempted by a student at the worst of times at the university, I was in. But honestly, without a better word, this book was stupid. Preening in the loving relationship with his wife of many years, a professor who is lackadaisical about everything school related is suddenly attracted to a pierced, goth, annoyed non-contributing student. He barely does anything, vaguely mentions issues with his college-aged daughter, which are never fully made clear, and ignores his own novel's deadlines.

This terrible story goes on with the professor falling for the student's sexual - albeit weird -poetry, and an even odder novel she is penning. Eventually he has to face a court of his peers on sexual harassment charges, and his lack of any explanation, defense, or caring is annoying. The ending? Stupid. The lack of anything clear throughout? Stupid. Don't waste your time on this one.

2011: Book 28

One Child by Torey Hayden


336 pages

Completed 3/21/11

The tale of a special education teacher whose classroom is upended when six-year-old Sheila, awaiting placement in a state ward after kidnapping and burning a three--year-old, arrives. Prone to violent outbursts, refusing to do work, and arriving day after day filthy and stinking, Sheila is a challenge for Hayden. Slowly but surely, she breaks through Sheila's walls, and discovers the child is gifted in more ways than one.

After suffering a trauma, Hayden expects Sheila to revert to her old ways, but the child is resilient. But the looming state commitment drives all around her to question whether that is the best option for this young child. I enjoyed this read; Hayden's feelings towards "her" children are heartfelt and true. While researching post-reading to see where Sheila is today, I found that Hayden wrote a follow-up to this book, which is on my PBS wish-list.

2011: Book 27

Ivy League Stripper by Heidi Mattson


288 pages

Completed 3/19/11

A feminist take on stripping - irony at it's finest. I am a fan of scandalous memoirs, but Mattson's holier-than-thou approach to stripping annoyed me. Having to take three years off of her undergraduate work at Brown University, Mattson finally comes to the conclusion, after several missteps and other considerations, that the best option for her is to join the staff at a topless bar. Expecting quite the story after this turn of events, I was disappointed when Mattson constantly wrote of being above the influence that the other girls' were under, introducing herself as a stripper and being okay with it while internally conflicted about telling her parents, and bashing her undergrad institution.

While her stories of night stripping were amusing, and the woes of the other girls heartbreaking, what stuck with me the most (and bothered me the most) was Mattson's view on the men. She repeatedly said she "remained friends" with customers, but also stated numerous times that she never mingled work and real life. Understanding the men, she claimed, was why she was so successful. Of course she understood them; she was topless, they were watching. Her "I-know-what's-best" voice simply bothered me.

2011: Book 26

A Three Dog Life by Abigail Thomas


192 pages

Completed 3/18/11

I have had a lot of extra reading time these past two months, and this may be the last time I do for a while, as my life in NYC seems to finally be taking off. But thinking that this memoir is my half point of my year's goal and it's only mid-March, I feel good!

Abigail Thomas' memoir following the debilitating accident of her husband, Rich, is interlaced with tales of her three pooches, making a life of her own, and her own grief dealing with her husband's brain injury. Honestly, the title was what first attracted me to this book, but then I was afraid to pull it out of my shelf in fears that the book would feature a death of one of her beloved pets (it did not). I finally got around to it, and my interest was piqued when I noticed Stephen King had said it was "the best memoir I have ever read." I did not share his feelings.

It was well written, and told an interesting, if brief, story. But that was it. I wasn't feeling any emotion, was not moved to further read about the author or her husband when I finished; I was just left uninspired. Luckily, it was a short read, but one I would not recommend for those seeking a tell-all memoir.